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- Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
How to be a good communicator and how to make the most of your
relationships:
* Enjoy other people's company and have FUN.
"The person born with a talent they are meant to use will
find their greatest happiness in using it,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]."
* Don't gossip, backbite and backstab. Treat others, as you'd LIKE to be treated yourself - with dignity and respect.
"Everyone has a talent,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. What is rare is the courage to
follow the talent to the dark place where it leads."
-- Erica Jong
* Tell the good news (without being a "Bible-basher", please). Be positive and other people will enjoy your company.
To do anything that you want to do,
"We make a living by what we get...but we make a life by what we give."
- Norman MacEwan
* Give and take in your relationships,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
* Look at people,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], when you talk to them.
By Craig Lock (Eagle Productions Books)
See all Articles by Craig LockSee Craig Lock's Expert PageGet Updates on Communication Skills and TrainingGet Updates on Craig Lock Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations."
"To dream anything that you want to dream,
* Recognise that right and wrong are never black and white. There are always three sides to any story: your side, the other person's...and the TRUTH.
* Try to put yourself in the other person's shoes (only if they fit you). I like walking a mile in another man's shoes. By the time he finds out, I'm a mile away and I've got his shoes as a "freebie"!
* "luck", as they say, is where preparedness (is there such
a word?) meets opportunity
that is the beauty of the human mind.
* Watch,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], wait and listen when developing relationships.
"If a man has talent and cannot use it, he has failed.
* Be interested in other people - show that you are by asking questions (but don't be insincere or hypocritical - nice word).
Not mundane comments about the weather. Say something interesting like: "How's the back yard?" Be tactful. Don't say, "has grannie 'popped off' yet?"
* Smile often (not inanely).
he has gloriously succeeded and has a
satisfaction and a triumph few men ever know,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]."
- Thomas Wolfe
* Tell people what you like about them without embarrassing them.
COMMUNICATION:
Craig's blog (with extracts from his various writings: articles, books and new manuscripts) is at
as you travel down the journey of life,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], JUST BE YOURSELF.
* Be realistic in your goals, plans and desires; yet they should stretch you.
"If one advances confidently in the direction of one's dreams,
and endeavors to live the life which one has imagined,
one will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”
- Henry David Thoreau
that is the courage to succeed."
- Bernard Edmonds, American Writer
* Keep your sense of humour. Hope you've still got one after reading all this!
Craig Lock ("Information and Inspiration Distributer, Incorrigible Encourager and People-builder")
We hope that the following new article (an extract from Chapter Two of one of Craig's first manuscripts ("rather wacky") titled 'STEPS TO SUCCESS, PROSPERITY AND HAPPINESS' written "many many moons ago" may be informative and helpful to your ezine readers, or on your web site. If it helps others "out there" on the pathway to success (and most importantly, happiness), then we're very happy. "We share what we know, so that we all may grow."
* Respect people (for what they are).
“Yesterday is history,
tomorrow is a mystery,
today is a gift,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
and that is why it is called the present.”
- anon
How to be a Good Communicator - in Business and in Life
and most importantly,
"When dreams die, there is no opportunity for greatness.
Greatness is a measure in one's spirit, not in the results
of one's rank in human affairs."
To trust yourself, to test your limits,
* Personal integrity is crucial at ALL TIMES. Be true to your values and beliefs...
"Together, one mind at a time, let's see how many people we can impact, empower, uplift, encourage and perhaps even inspire to reach their fullest potentials."
Author: Craig Lock
Category (key words): Success, Success Principles, Motivation, Inspiration, Sports Psychology, Sport,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Mind,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Mind Control, Positive Thinking, Books, Self help books and Positive Psychology (enough there now, craig!)
Web sites: [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] [link widoczny dla zalogowanych][link widoczny dla zalogowanych].php,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]?aid=16831 (e-books) + [link widoczny dla zalogowanych]
* Like yourself and be positive about your life. Doing this will draw others towards you.
Cultivate a positive attitude of enthusiasm, hope and especially faith in the future.
If he has a talent and uses only half of it, he has partly failed.
"The task ahead of you can always be overcome by the power within you...and the often seemingly difficult or even
’impassible’) path ahead of you is never as steep with the great spirit that lies within you.”
Other Articles are available at: and
(Personal growth,
self help, writing, internet marketing, spiritual, 'spiritual writings' (how 'airey-fairey'), words of inspiration and money management, how boring now, craig!)
* Be punctual - this shows you are responsible, courteous and respectful of other's time.
* Be decisive - this shows confidence
that is the strength of the human will.
- craig
Author's Bio:
Article Title: How to be a Good Communicator - in Business and in Life (from 'Steps to Success, Prosperity and Happiness' )
* Be assertive, but cautious.
If he has a talent and learns somehow to use the whole of it,
'Without legends, dreams die."
#
LIVE, LOVE and BE HAPPY.
* Spend time alone with your partner/"significant other". Go on walks together. If you are not in a close relationship, discuss
what's happening in your life from time to time with a close friend. If like me, you don't have one, join "rent-a-friend".
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to see the truth of thy life.
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Tracy agrees. "In the end, my success came from the deep desire to stop,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], which had been inside of me for years, and then getting into serious therapy with an eating disorder specialist. Having someone who focuses on just that area was a true lifesaver."
Find an exercise you enjoy. If you hate aerobic dance, don’t join an aerobics class. If you hate the gym, don’t spend your time there. Instead, experiment with exercises you’ve never tried before. Is there an exercise that makes you feel physically empowered? Do that one.
Focus on health.
Change your relationship with food. Food is fuel for active living. Strive not for a number on the scale but for a weight at which you feel strong and energetic. Ask yourself if your diet contributes - or takes away from - your health and energy levels.
"Our bodies are miracles, walking around in skin,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]," Brewton says. You will never come across a finer work of art or machinery."
Poor body image can lead to crash dieting and excessive exercise, which can, in turn, lead to poor nutrition, injuries, and depression. In it’s most dangerous form, a negative body image may fuel an eating disorder or Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD).
Make small changes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
A global change in cultural and economic structures would, no doubt, help us all achieve a more positive body image. But there will likely always be supermodels, paid endorsements, and the unstoppable "quest for the best" bandwagon.
When we stop focusing on our bodies, and begin to focus on our health, our bodies have an easier time finding our optimal weight. Researchers at the Stanford University School of Medicine have discovered that people who start a weight-loss program when they feel happiest about their body are more than twice as likely to lose weight as people who are less satisfied.
Sociologists who study the western-world phenomenon of poor body image attribute the problem to a variety of factors, including media and cultural influences, as well as parental and peer messages.
~Solutions
Seek help.
If you feel that your body image has become a pre-occupation, don’t hesitate to talk to a counselor or therapist. Amoreena Brewton, a mother with a background in sociology and counseling,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], has conducted research on women and body image. She says, "Some people are too deeply entrenched in their body issues to resolve them on their own. Often,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], there are personal or familial issues at play when a person has an eating disorder, so seeking professional help is highly recommended."
Psychological factors can add to the effect of media and culture. Girls who experienced sexual abuse or an emotionally difficult puberty are more prone to body dissatisfaction as adults. So are women who feel they have little control over their lives.
Tracy says repetition is key. "It begins with re-recording the negative messages in your own mind, which are so painful," she says. "I have probably re-recorded that message over 500,000 times, and I keep losing it. But it’s easier to find for the next time."
~The Dangers of Body Dissatisfaction
When we realize that it is a combination of influences that lead to body dissatisfaction, we empower ourselves to solve the problem. We can seize power by breaking the chain of these influences wherever we can.
By Susie Cortright
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"When someone has a poor body image, she will try to find validation from outside to make her feel better. The next diet, the next fashion fad, the next boyfriend, anything but where she is now. Instead of living in the moment, she may find herself living for ‘when I look better,’" Strauss says. "Remember, the goal of most advertising it to make you ‘not OK’ so that, upon using that product, you will become OK. I say, start OK and then you’ll only buy what you choose to have for yourself."
Change your relationship with your body.
When food becomes a tool for active living, and exercise becomes a tool for increased strength, your body becomes a tool for your mind. Suddenly, your body has the endurance and power to do what the mind wills.
Women who have felt the most brutal blows from poor body image say it is not a single factor acting in isolation. Jennifer Tracy, who battled bulimia for nine years, says a combination of factors,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], such as a non-supportive family environment and a poor self-image, snowballed in the presence of cultural influences.
At the same time, studies show that half of American women overestimate the size of their bodies.
There are tools to help you re-program the thoughts you direct at yourself. One successful example is the "Think Right Now" series of audiotapes and software programs:
TRN's Eating for Excellent Health program -helps listeners regain a positive outlook on food and its power.
Brewton also recommends surrounding yourself with friends whose focus is not on exteriors. "Other women can make the biggest difference in our lives by being mentors and leading by example," Brewton says. She suggests we find a group of women to meet with regularly to discuss issues important to our lives, but, she says,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], don’t focus solely on body issues. "Obsessing as a group is no better than obsessing as an individual," she says.
Change your relationship with exercise.
Regular exercise creates power and endurance, which can help you enjoy more activities. Can you hike as far as you like? Would you like to try kayaking? Do you know the joys of a "runner’s high"?
Author's Bio:
Instead, enforce changes on a smaller scale. Brewton suggests we stop allowing those negative forces into our lives. "Don’t buy Cosmo, buy Redbook," she says. "Look at really powerful, intelligent successful women whom you admire as often as possible. For example: Oprah, Rosie, Hillary, Martha, your mom, your grandmother, your daughter."
When you are continually distracted with physical appearance, the energy of your mind, body, and spirit is diverted from more salient endeavors.
Motivate yourself to exercise by reminding yourself about the burst of energy that inevitably follows a workout.
Find a group of supportive women, either in your neighborhood or online. Then use this safe, non-critical environment to empower one another.
Carolyn Strauss is a top plus-size model, author of Specialty Modeling, and a nationally recognized expert on body image issues, from fashion to self-esteem. Her accomplishments now include her own clothing collection featured on the Home Shopping Network. Through it all, she helps other women move toward a more positive body image. Strauss says the biggest danger of a negative body image lies in the power it gives away.
Befriend your body, and ask yourself how you want to spend your life energy. "Imagine for a moment that you took all that time you spend thinking about appearance and focused on how much you love your ability to communicate well, or what a great mom you are,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or ways to solve the issue of homelessness," Brewton says. "If you took that negative energy and used it for good,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], not only would your life improve, but the world would improve, as well."
Tracy proves that we can control how much power food has over us. "One of the most important factors in my success has been to eat everything and anything I want, whenever. I do not diet, restrict, or make rules for myself in any way. This sets my life up so that I don’t ever feel restricted and needy for food. It has taken a lot of the importance out of food for me," Tracy says. "Since I quit my bulimic behaviors, I have lost 15 pounds, my face and cheeks are not swollen, and I feel really good."
For the religious and spiritual among us, body image may instantly improve with the simple reminder that God gave you the body you have for a reason. He didn’t make you to look like Cindy Crawford because you aren’t Cindy Crawford. He wants you to be healthy enough to do your life’s work. To live and work at an optimum level. So, accept His creation, and nurture it.
A University of Toronto study,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], published in the International Journal of Eating Disorders, found that women who were interviewed after seeingmagazine ads that featured female models showed a significant and immediate decrease in self-esteem.
Twenty-four percent of women and 17 percent of men say they would give up more than three years of life to be thinner. That’s according to a poll conducted by Psychology Today magazine.
Surround yourself with supportive friends.
"As I began to recover little by little from bulimia," Tracy says. "I did not surround myself with people who were as concerned about body size. I put myself among beautiful, strong, and intelligent women who really put little emphasis on looks."
Use positive affirmations.
When you catch yourself commiserating over tight blue jeans, don’t let your mind get stuck in the negativity. When that negative voice does emerge, follow it with 10 positive thoughts.
The advertising industry ties the already complex issue of body image with materialism. A slender body is associated with wealth, health, and attractiveness. A heavier body is associated with sloth, indulgence, and a lack of self-control.
Remember your spiritual connection.
"The first thing to remember is that the Universe does not make mistakes," Strauss says. You are where you are for a reason. Acknowledge this and then choose how to proceed with the next minute, hour, day, of your life."
Once you navigate yourself out of the negativity rut, you’ll feel better about yourself, and you’ll better understand your power to create and maintain a healthier mind,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], body, and spirit.
"If I had love for myself or love from my family," Tracy says, "it would not matter what a model looked like, and it would not affect my personal self-esteem."
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